An Agave, general stupidity, ER procedures, and plastic surgery
Contented gardener admires her variegated Agave. She has had it for 20 years. What an effort it is to drag it out of the greenhouse every year. It is heavy and the spines are lethal. Soon it will be too big to move easily.
Agave americana 'Variegata'
Clever gardener has devised a fleece and bubble wrap tepee protection so that the Agave can stay out over the winter. She wraps it carefully in November 2007 and it survives without a scratch. The winter was very mild so Clever gardener is annoyed. What a lot of work and it wasn’t even a cold winter! What will next year bring?
Procrastinating gardener spends November and December 2008 wondering whether to wrap her Agave. She wonders…and wonders….till the first heavy frost catches her unprepared. She rushes out, brushes off the frost, lets her Agave dry off then wraps it up securely. Better late than never she says to herself.
Agave wrapped up in December 2008
Stupid, Incompetent, Lazy gardener unwraps her Agave in March 2009. Aarrrggghhhh….much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Agave looking unwell
Sad gardener apologises to Agave and sniffles pathetically into a tissue.
Optimistic gardener remembers all she has learned from years of watching ER. She gets her saw and her new Felco secateurs. She dispenses with the scrubs and hand washing but does wear gloves. Georgie the cat can’t bear to watch.
Agave after surgery
Resigned gardener has done her best but she is no Dr Neela Rasgotra. Hopefully she has learned an important lesson about second guessing the weather and putting things off. Such smug thoughts do not help Agave who is feeling ugly and unwanted.
Creative gardener remembers the Plastic surgery in Grey’s Anatomy! There must be some procedures she can use to good effect. She decides on transplants after a quick Botoxing of the surface area.
Agave after plastic surgery
Easygardener knew that there was a valid excuse for watching too many hospital dramas on TV and feels vindicated.
18 comments
Oh, what a shame. But it does look snazzy with the black grass around the base now.
Oh dear a casualty of the British weather. The outer leave tend to die off here but they just shrivel up. They are quite tough you know. I’m sure with the best after surgery care it will be fine.
I know exactly what you mean here. I have two agaves intact after the winter, and two in this condition. What a sad moment when you find it has turned to mush.
I know how you feel – my intensive care patient, a fine leaved astelia is now in terminal decline – I could kick myself for being caught out by the cold winter. So it’s ((((())))) from me to you and the agave which looks as if will respond to your tlc.
Brilliant! That Ophiopogon does really well in pots, I find (try it with Hakonechloa for a really eye-watering combination). But I think you did really well to get that agave through this particular winter at all. Doctor, you saved a patient’s life!
Hilarious. Hope it survives! 20 years is a long time to nurse a tender plant along, you can be forgiven for one slip-up. Hope the surgery “takes” and it’s looking good as new before too long. It sure is a beauty, even under all that gauze.
I’m sure with your TLC and quick use of nursing skills it will bounce back. Crossing my fingers! :) Funny post by the way, thanks for the smile.
No excuse needed for watching Grey’s Anatomy, one of the best shows on television. Next to Survivor of course:)) I thoroughly enjoyed the travails of all the gardeners with that poor agave. Here’s hoping it recovers soon.
Well done – a very neat job and resourceful solution.
Taking agaves indoors can also have their dangers – I bought my tiny little one in for the winter. Unfortunately I left it by the central heating boiler and it now has blackened leaves. I’ll be doing a similar operation to you at some point. Luckily it had just had a little baby Agave, which is just beginning to show some roots in the glass of water I put it in.
I am sure your Agave will survive without problems, don’t panic!
I usually cut the outer leaves in plants like this.
It’s better to have the plants outdoor if they are big enough. In my life I lost more plants indoor in the winter than outdoor.
I was having a grand time reading along and enjoying the photos – that wrapping job made it look like a Dr. Seuss Xmas tree – and then it all went so terribly wrong. I think you’ve made the best of the situation. Providing the crown wasn’t completely frozen, I say it will be ready for its post-surgery, recovery & reveal shot in a couple of months. Or, perhaps an interesting future post on tequila making and tasting party?
There’s a multiple personality disorder I live with, right in the open. (I dragged my Meyer lemon outside on a warm day before a night of almost freezing temperatures. Lemon survived just fine. Next winter it can stay outside).
Hi EG, what a delightfully funny, yet informative post! I was wondering what kind of amazing plastic surgery you were talking about. The agave does appear to be alive, if scarred, and that is the important thing. I have some things that are getting to large to be brought into the space deprived greenhouse. Maybe the bubblewrap method would work for them. Thanks for the inspiration!
Frances
Hurra! At least it has survived; it was just a bad cold! You have done well cutting off the leaves it will go from there. The camouflage does the trick to hide the look of the emergency surgery! I have one in a pot and I am tossing up to leave it in the pot or plant it outside. I am actually scared of this plant because it increases at a quick rate at the base. The suckers are hard to eliminate. Denise, I have seen HUGE species, if you want to get rid of it you have to use Dynamite.
Your post was inspirational as well as humorous! My husband and I have wanted an agave but have never dared try one because of our zone 7 that is not favorable for most agave. We admire them when we go to Atlanta to visit out son. Actually, we lust after them!
What a hoot! Laughing gardener is happy she stopped in to read about the agave adventure.
Sorry about the agave – sure it will be fine – but this post made me laugh so much – that it is only now that I can return to leave a comment.
:)
Surgeon Easygardener has worked well under pressure. Quick thinking under the knife and the patient has survived albeit without a few limbs ;-)
Excellent aftercare should ensure the patient feels strong enough to hold centre stage in the garden once again. Oh… but I feel the pain of the Easygardener surgeon when performing this type of operation ;-)
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